A few months ago I asked readers to tell me their all-time favorite parenting book. I’ve sorted through more than 300 responses to create the list below. The top 5 are the most popular, followed by ten runners-up in no particular order.
I’ve linked to the books at Amazon so that you can find out more about them, read reviews, etc. You should be able to find them used or at your local library. Enjoy!
Top 5
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two by Dr. William and Martha Sears
Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Baby’s First Year (Baby 411: Clear Answers and Smart Advice for Your Baby’s First Year by Ari Brown, M.D. and Denise Fields
On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg
The Rest of the Best
The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley
Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber
Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer by Harvey Karp
What to Expect The First Year by Heidi Murkoff
Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman
Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear and Much, Much More! by Denise and Alan Fields
Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron
Did your favorite parenting book make the list?
Ick, I’m so sad a Marc Weissbluth made the list.
To each their own… I love that book!
I’m with you Colleen. What he recommends in that book is sickening.
Love his book and we did it without CIO
He ROCKS!!! Apparently I’m in the majority.
I think it’s a great book! Not sure what the controversy is – he discusses and accepts a variety of parenting styles and special circumstances. His research seems pretty straight forward to me and his advice helped my family. And yes, I am a SAHM who nursed on demand, my baby slept in my bed and room for the first several months, we never contemplated CIO, etc. … and this book was wonderful! I especially like that it even discusses sleep problems all the way through the teen years.
I am really surprised Babywise made that list. It is an icky book
I feel the same way about Baby Wise. : (
I agree – and so much evidence has come out to say that it is actually harmful to babies.
I love the books by Louise Ames-Bates for each year (eg Your Two-Year-Old, etc.). A little dated, but such a gentle tone and very spot-on regarding development.
I’m not as surprised about Babywise making the list as I am dismayed. Each person who voted for that one represents at least one child subjected to it!
i read the book as a suggestion from someone while i was pregnant and cried! it’s really awful stuff. the thought of one child left in a room to scream until he vomits is just too awful for words!
- from a mama of nearly 2-year-old twins who sleep through the night in their own beds, and never were left to cry it out!
I’m disappointed Baby Wise made it too!
Does anyone find it thought provoking that a poll asking for parents favorite parenting book produces SIX out of fifteen books on solving infant sleep “problems”? Shouldn’t we be focusing on raising our children to be caring, empathetic, generous people, not on making sure that we aren’t disturbed in the middle of the night?
I totally agree. and if sleep deprivation is the worst thing you have to deal with in their 18 years be extremely thankful.
It is really easy to make comments like these if you have a child who is a good sleeper. When you have a child with sleep problems – and yes, there are babies who have sleep problems, it’s not all about selfish parents – and you see them grumpy and sleep deprived all of the time, you understand how thankful parents are for books like HSHHC. Please be a little bit sensitive.
I totally agree with you. The only book I read along those lines was The Happiest Baby on the Block, which is a great resource those first few months. I don’t read many parenting books, but do find myself drawn ones about growth and development. But then again, I also had an easy sleeper.
Adults and children alike all need sleep to be productive citizens. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to get more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time, especially if both parents are working.
I work full-time and actually almost fell asleep at the wheel driving home the other night b/c I’m so sleep deprived. Being awakened in the middle of the night is more than just a “disturbance”.
No, being awakened at night by a baby is natural. That’s what babies do.
Babies don’t need to be trained to sleep. Instead, we should think a little more deeply about what it means to have a child before we have them. Sorry you both have to work, but that’s due to choices you’ve made.
Baby Wise has been called dangerous — please rethink its inclusion on this list. In Baby 411 they say that the advice in that book to refuse feedings for little ones and force them to “sleep through the night” can cause failure to thrive. Newborns and babies need to eat at night and to deny that is very dangerous.
Get a grip!!!! Do you think that ANY book in this day in age would reccomend refusing a feeding causing FTT? Have you even read Babywise? Of course not. Because if you have, you would know that what you have said is absurd. FORCE a child to sleep through the night? Is that possible? I can’t believe these ridiculous comments about Babywise!!!!
I actually was given a copy of the book and read parts of it. The idea of parent directed feeding is not considered safe and I agree with the “F” that Baby 411 gives it. But I also believe in attachment parenting and am more of a Dr. Sears parent. To each their own.
Actually I *have* read the book and am disappointed it is included in this list for many reasons.
There is nothing wrong with Babywise. As with any parenting philosophy or book you have to take it for what it is worth, just advice. There in nothing in that book that says you have to obey everything. We used Babywise but didn’t follow it as rigidly as the advice given, and it worked perfectly for our daughter. The main thing we took away from it was how to find your baby’s schedule, eat, wake, sleep. We didn’t follow the cry it out philosophy or the don’t rock them to sleep. We used collaborative resources to decide how to parent our child. What works for one parent and child will not work for all, that’s what it all comes down to.
TOTALLY agree with everyone about Babywise, even though I know it’s “popular” I think there should be a disclaimer when listing it – I believe the American Academy of Pediatrics has warned against it as well. Ferber and Weissbluth are cupcakes compared to Ezzo. I read it to see what the fuss was about and it frightened me that people use that to care for babies.
On the other hand, Playful Parenting, Love and Logic, Raising and Spirited Child, the Sears books, and any of Elizabeth Pantley, are all FANTASTIC.
Babywise ROCKS! Anyone who thinks differently has never read the book and has just read silly things online about it bashing the book simply b/c Ezzo is a Christian and crazy “watchdog” type groups love to bash anyone who is right of center.
All 3 of my boys (including twins) were sleeping through the night at 8 weeks without having to CIO — all are great eaters, sleepers, happy babies all around. Babywise is to thank!!
THAT is the reason it’s in the top 5 – because there are a lot of informed moms out there who voted!!
http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/
This site sites AAP guidelines and how they match up with Babywise.
Really- if want to bash it -do some homework – like, read the book. STTN causes FTT??? really? then how were all 3 of my boys in the 50th-97th percentile their entire lives while STTN at 8 weeks??? Please.
I find that moms who bash Babywise are the ones who’s children don’t STTN for years and years…. then they complain years later and don’t know what to do.
I have read the book. With many years of experience working with children as both a registered nurse and an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant, I can tell you that much of the current research on neurobiology, child development, and human lactation directly oppose many of the views of BabyWise. I’m not “bashing” it out of ignorance for what it says.
I have read through Babywise, and my children were STTN by 5 weeks at the latest. But it was simply a mask of true sleep issues that surfaces months and even years later. I realized I loved it because it’s claims to not be “child-centered” were simply parent-centered, masked in spiritual language.
It’s not Biblical. And it’s not healthy.
I have since co-slept with my last baby, and although she sometimes wakes to feed I feel no real loss of sleep (although babywise said I would), and her needs are being met. We are so much closer.
So that’s coming from a voice of experience with the book.
Baby Wise was written by non-medical professionals and its advice is, as other commenters mentioned, dangerous and unsupported by medical evidence. Please re-think its inclusion on this list. I am extremely disappointed that it is being promoted on this blog and am saddened that a parent might find that book and follow its advice after seeing it here.
In response to everyone clamoring against Babywise, I might provide a more moderate response by saying that not every book will work for every child. What I realized with our first is that almost every book would give me some insight that would help. With Babywise, I learned about the importance of keeping a schedule. My firstborn THRIVES on schedule, even to this day. Anyway, just because someone finds a book valuable doesn’t mean they don’t take the advice with a grain of salt, just like ALL the advice given by well-meaning strangers, friends, and family.
None of my favorite parenting books are on the list … A couple of my favorites are 123 Magic and Siblings without Rivalry. I actually found all the books about sleep very judgemental and one solution for all problems – they made me crazy!
I never read babywise, I’m not sure what the issue is with it. I will say that babies are programmed to wake up to eat- all those books on getting a baby to sleep more than 2-3 hrs is overkill. They wake up because they NEED something, a pat, a breast,a bottle, a calm voice…its part of the package with a baby.
I’m glad super baby food made the list! An AMAZING resource when it came to feeding my babies!
I have TWO children who were (& are) subjected to babywise… In addition I have 2 amazing children who have slept through the night since eight weeks of age, which meant happy, peaceful, contented babies who are a joy to be around… In addition I have two children who hade also been through the toddler class…
Dont snub your nose at those incredible books & authors. I have a PROVEN success story and I fully attribute it to babywise, which is common sense parenting.
So glad you included it! The fact that it made the top five proves how many families love babywise!!!!
If your measure of success is based on your own convenience then, yes, you have a success story from babywise.
I personally can’t imagine not allowing my newborn to eat when he’s hungry (even if it is… gasp… only an hour or two after he last ate) and not comforting him when he’s crying at night.
Oh, and it is common sense to create healthy sleeping patterns in kids , every adult knows that a good nights sleep is imperative to healthy growth and intelligent learning… Why is it so hard to compare teaching your baby healthy sleep habits vs. brushing their teeth?
Just my .02
LOL- as soon as I saw the title of this post I knew there would be a Baby Wise debate. We don’t offer other parents and parenting choices that don’t match ours a lot of grace do we?
“The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer” and “The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems” are two that I would have added to the top of the list.
This is a great point Christy. People prefer all different styles of parenting – and that doesn’t make any of them more “right” than the others. I think the important thing is that we all focus on raising responsible, morally grounded, nice children, regardless of what strategy we take to get there.
Sure, unless your kids are costing the rest of us money due to their mental health problems from being left at night and fed on a strict schedule!
I second the “The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems”. It helped with so many things including sleeping.
I know this was specifically about baby books, but I wanted to throw in their, for those that mentioned “parenting books” are about more than just sleep habits, that NurtureShock is a very good, and I think important book to read about today’s kids. If you haven’t read it, check it out!
I just finished Nurtureshock.
Really, you ought to read it before your kid enters school. There is so much stuff there that shows old common sense is actually scientifically based!
I have half of these titles somewhere in my basement, just waiting to be read… some magical day when I have time. Going to be waiting a while, I think!
Please everyone,
Let’s not use this space, which is intended as a source of options and information to JUDGE anyone’s parenting decisions.
I feel every parent should read EVERY book / style of parenting and then decide what is best for them and their child.
I won’t even say to which style of parenting I subscribe to (and have had great success and happiness with) but I will say “SHAME ON YOU” to all those who felt the right to judge others on wanting to read and educate themselves on all styles of parenting. What you’ve done, by calling out “babywise” and claiming it shouldn’t be read, is called censorship.
I read Babywise and my baby was never in harms way, starved, or neglicted! It’s common sense to pick and choice the techniques that work for you and your baby….
I too have read Babywise & Babywise 2. I have followed them fairly closely and my almost 20lb 7 month old has NEVER gone hungry and in fact with the schedule I feed him before he gets hungry. Obviously it made the top of the list, so there are tons of us liking it. For whatever reason there are people out there (most of who have never read it) who like to dis the book. To each his own.
People don’t “dis” the book out of some personal vendetta, they “dis” because it is completely contrary to medical advice. Glad it worked for you; it has caused other parents to starve their children, all in a quest for a completely unnatural goal of having a very young baby sleep through the night for the parents’ convenience.
I can’t believe how judgmental some people are on others’ parenting choices. I will say that I have read most of the books, starting with Babywise and Weissbluth for my 1st which have much of the same information. I did the advice on scheduling during the day (90% of the Babywise book is dedicated to how to get your baby on a predictable daytime/nap routine and actually making sure he is getting FULL nursings which should lead to a well fed baby.) My son naturally starting sleeping 6 or 7 hours at 2 months–there wasn’t any starvation or ignoring him or any of that, it just happened.
I started getting really into attachment parenting through a couple of friends 2 years later and thought that would be so much better to try with my second. I feel like it was a total disaster. After 7 months of co-sleeping and “feeding on demand” my son didn’t know how to take a full feeding, and was really whiney all night. He still was waking every couple of hours to snack, could not get to sleep without nursing, rocking and more nursing and both baby and mommy were super cranky. Even after transitioning to his own crib, he couldn’t get the hang of the routine and at 1 and a half, is still a poor sleeper. I do still love some parts of AP such as babywearing, but for me the sleep advice was a disaster.
I thought this was a platform for all of us to express are opinions with out the indignation of being labeled “judgmental” for disagreeing.
I for one am finding this to be a healthy debate and most of all informative. I’ve avoided parenting books in general and just gone with my gut and never felt it was right to let my baby CIO and I’m happy to see that others feel the same.
1 2 3 Magic is AMAZING!
I find the entire parenting book industry to be absurd and designed to prey on parent’s fears. Our mothers and grandmothers certainly didn’t devour as many books as today’s modern parent and most of us turned out fine. Use a little common sense. YOU know your child better than any author.
In regards to the Babywise debate: anyone who takes the time to read parenting books and browse parenting blogs would not let their child starve, be neglected, or cry for hours on end. Each book has it’s own pros and cons, and different people and children benefit from the techniques.
I personally wish I would have read Babywise sooner, because my child was in horrible need of a schedule, but I didn’t realize it at first. I will be re-reading this book when I have another child.
To the people who think that some parents are selfish for wanting sleep, here is something to think about: You guys probably never had a child who had to be held for the entire first 2 months (meaning he screamed if he was put down for even one second, sleeping or awake). Then for another 7 months, he slept laying down but only for half an hour at a time at the MOST. So all night every night, he would wake up sometimes every 5 minutes and either my husband or I had to get him back to sleep. Sometimes he only slept for 1-2 minutes.
So please don’t think that we are selfish crazy people who just want a few hours of sleep. We are crazy, for sure, but it’s because we didn’t get more than a few minutes of sleep at a time for months on end!
Yes, I did have a child like that, and that’s why I wore him all the time and why we coslept. I don’t need Babywise to give me instincts, and neither did you!
I’m glad you found what worked for you, and I pray that God leads you to do the best for your next child just like you did for the first one, without taking the awful and unsubstantiated advice from that BabyWise quack.
I totally understand what you’re saying, however, my little guy screamed bloody murder in all 5 carriers and slings that I tried
I just got a hold of “Raising Your Spirited Child,” and can’t wait to read it because he is exactly like that!
I think following your instincts is important, but I for one had absolutely no common sense or instincts for the first several months after I had my son, so I’m glad there are many different books out there to guide us. Each book has it’s pros. We eventually taught him to put himself to sleep using the no-cry sleep solution. At 9 months, he finally slept for a period of more than 30 minutes!
babywise: the “gift” of nighttime sleep.
No, it’s not. Babies are supposed to wake up at night. They are supposed to be comforted to sleep–look at the rest of the world! They are supposed to be fed on demand, and they are supposed to get 25% of their nutrition DURING THE NIGHT.
If you’re not prepared to be up at night, don’t have children! It’s not a good idea to introduce children to a two income household if you can’t handle it, or are unwilling to pare down your lifestyle and expenses to one income. Having a baby is not about making it convenient for yourself.
Kate -
I’m all for a parent staying at home if they can or they want to. I also stay at home. But sorry, you are just clueless if you think everyone can live on one income if they just adjusted their lifestyle. Both of your posts really infuriate me. They are dripping with condescension and lack understanding or compassion.
Wow, I too am disappointed but not surprised by the list. Agree that BabyWise and Ezzo are frightening to say the least. I have read BW (the newest version) and feel that a disclaimer is warranted when posting this book on your blog. There have been too many reputable, medical organizations that have come out with serious concerns based on the recommendations in BW.
i only used one book, penelope leach birth to five- love her
Ah, the No Cry Sleep Solution! How that brings back memories. While I have read a majority of these books, I think my main concern with them is that they’re very good at establishing bonds between the parents and the child, but do little in terms of keeping a solid relationship with one another. And even then, if I may be so bold, they’re primarily helpful for established (re: older) couples and not so much for younger parents.
In my post-divorce months, I’ve found that not only have parenting books been somewhat helpful, but read alongside inspirational literature, such as Tim Pond’s Three Insights has been supremely helpful. In any case, I look forward to checking out some of the books on this list that I may have missed.
The best part about BabyWise is the idea of a schedule. Getting my 2 kids into a routine was the best thing for them and for me as their Mom. They slept through the night at 6 weeks and 7 weeks and no, that doesn’t make me a bad (stay at home) Mom. Also, hunger cues are the same as “I have a bellyache” cues, and parents often misinterpret the cues, meaning they overfeed their children and cause a bigger bellyache. Loosely following BabyWise helped me think logically when my baby cried and cried and cried. “I just fed her a solid feeding 30 mins ago–she shouldn’t be hungry. She has been awake for awhile–I bet it’s time for a nap. She just woke up from her nap–I’m pretty sure she’s hungry.” When she cried at other times, I knew something else was wrong with her. Turns out she had reflux and that’s why she cried for 4 months straight.
The point is, BabyWise has some valid points that can help you and your baby be happy. And if a parent thinks they “can’t” feed their child for 3 hours, just because a book says so, perhaps they need an extra parenting class from the hospital or a phone call to Grandma, because they’ve got bigger issues than just reading BabyWise.
Wow. Nothing will rile a bunch of mamas up like sleep! Seriously, though, can’t we just all get along?
I also could not do cry it out or other methods that involved serious sleep training. But after much thought and reading, I came to the conclusion that I don’t think moderate CIO done after 6 months causes any long term emotional harm….that is, to the baby. There are lots of psychological studies on this topic, and almost all of them have found that it doesn’t cause problems. I didn’t do it, because personally I knew it would cause me emotional harm! I knew I would remember it, and that was enough for me to find other ways to make it through those difficult months.
But I don’t think it’s right to judge people who parent differently from you. I find the most disturbing comments above are from those who suggest that somehow the parents who used Baby Wise or Weissbluth are going to have emotionally damaged children. That’s just offensive and frankly a bunch of hooey.
Can’t we all just recognize that we all love our children and are just trying to do the best that we can? If we all weren’t reflective and didn’t want to parent well, I doubt everyone would even be reading all these books. I like that the list has a bunch of contradictory parenting books. That means we are all diverse and gave birth to unique children.